• Desi Payne Super Blogger

Would You Kill with Kindness?

Updated: Nov 21, 2019



Last month I had the incredible experience of taking part in the world’s largest Barnes and Noble book-signing in Columbus, Ohio, among 80 other authors. You talk about buzz, excitement, and celebration! After I signed my book for a gentleman, he told me about his boss, who chronically raked him over the coals. I gave him a few recommendations which I’ll list below.


*If it persists, it may be time to start job hunting.

*Set up a time to talk about the conflict.

*Kill him with kindness (or in other terms, be gracious).


Let’s focus on the last one today. "Kill them with kindness" means to be nice even though your “enemy” is not being so. It refers to an overall way of acting toward another person so that you are basically “the better person.” I know I’ve had to do this on many occasions. It is definitely not easy, but when you decide that you don’t want the ugly spirit that someone else has to get on the inside of you, then counteract, by showing kindness. I remember doing this for a lady who got me “thrown under the bus” by lying about me to my boss. When I took her a pretty scented candle a few days later (and it was a few days because I did fume for a few days), her eyes got big. I remember the huge weight lifted off me; I could move on after I forgave this woman. She got another job shortly thereafter.


Who knows, maybe what I did will stick in her mind for the rest of her life and she’ll think twice before she acts that way again. Maybe she’ll be gracious to someone else down the road. I just know that I felt better after it was all said and done. My name is Desi, and I’m the Attitude Adjuster.



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